Pitch and Loki's Facebook war
by UniqueBlue
Summary: One day, When Pitch posts a status about Jack, Loki gets paraniod and starts to start a Facebook argument about it for a little while. couple days later, It starts to starts to get out of hand!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: LMFAO this was based on a fake Facebook convo I Made yesterday and put it on DeviantART and I Thought Hey! Why not make a story about it lol Also I Just watched the Avengers for the first time! It was AH-MAZ-ING! Lol I Might make Avengers fanfics in the future ;) Anyways, enjoy!**

After a long and exhausting week of giving out nightmares to people, He decided to take a short break…. On the internet that is. He sat on his bed in his room and pulled out his laptop and checked his Facebook; everyone on there was talking about random things on their statuses. Some he found funny, some he found understandable and some he found just plain stupid. He hasn't written a status in a while now so he decided, hey why not? Write a status about whatever?! He didn't know what to write about but then he knew what to write about to get off his chest, so he typed in,

_"UGH! He thinks he's all that in a bag of chips but he isn't" _

He was obviously talking about Jack Frost because he couldn't stand him, so he had to get that annoyance off his chest. With that, He clicked the post button and scrolled away on his news feed. Five minutes later, after he just liked a beautiful picture of Toothiana (Whom he knew Jack has a crush on) and was about to comment on it, he noticed he got a notification. He clicked on it and saw that it was his one of his enemies, Loki, Norse god, God of Mischief, commented on his status it said,

"_Look who's talking" _

Pitch angrily gritted his teeth at the comment; surely it was aimed at Frost and not at him. And why did he bother to waste his time commenting on his status that was not concerning him and knowing that Pitch despised his guts? Maybe he was trying to be an instigator or something? So he replied,

_"IT WAS ABOUT FROST! PARANOD IMBASCILE!" _

He typed in caps. Two minutes later he got a reply back from his enemy,

_"Your spelling is atrocious! Its 'Paranoid' and 'imbecile'! You illiterate Buffoon!"_

Pitch's fists balled up in irritation and anger, He WAS trying to start a fight with him! And he knew it too! He was the God of Mischief after all! "THAT'S IT!" Pitch yelled from the top of his lungs, making an echo yell back at him. "If he wants to fight! I'll give that arrogant excuse for a god a fight!" And so he fought back on the status and typed in,

_"ME? BUFFOON? LMFAO! I'm not the one who wants to be a grammar Nazi on everyone's status!" _

It was true! He seen it all the time that Loki always corrected someone on Facebook and it was unnecessary since it was FACEBOOK and Not SCHOOL! Who does he think he is? A freaking Harvard professor?! Because this wasn't college! Pitch waited until the Norse god could reply back until six minutes later, He got a reply but it wasn't from Loki, it was from Frost! "FROST?! What is he doing on my status when- oh wait! I Forgot!" Did Jack know that He was in the middle of a fight with Loki ? He probably obviously did because he must of saw the comments.

_"What did you say about me Pitch ?" _Jack commented. Pitch rose an eyebrow, puzzled. "Why the deuce did he not notice the comments ?" He asked himself, mystified. So sighed heavily and decided he wanted to see Loki's reply instead of his, so he replied back saying,

_"STAY OUT OF THIS OLD MAN FROST!" _

He typed in all caps to make him get off his status. Shortly in two minutes, Frost proceeded to reply back by saying,

_"At least I'm a good looking old man unlike you!" _

Pitch gasped, offended at the conceited and vain comment that Frost made on his status, "WHY THAT ARROGANT, CONCIETED, EGOTISTICAL, BIG-HEADED EXCUSE FOR A GUARDIAN!" He shouted to the screen. One minute later, He finally saw a response from Loki, FINALLY!

_"OOOOH BURN!" _He instigated.

Pitch growled, irritated at the both of them, He proceeded to Reply to Loki,

_"SHUT UP YOU HORRENDIOUS ABOMINATION OF A GOD! WHO ASKED YOU!?"_

_"YOU SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE YOU BESCUMER SIMPLETON!" _Loki Responded in all caps.

Pitch just stood for a moment and looked at the comment, "Bescumer Simpleton? What in the name god kind of insult was that? Another attempt to sound intelligent I see" Pitch burst out laughing and clapped his hands like a drunk seal at the failed comment that didn't make any sense to him. "What a poser! I'm not arguing anymore with this snobbish wannabe! Waste of time! I should be doing other things, like … I don't know, more scaring? Eh Why not?" Pitch shrugged and clicked the tab off, closing the laptop and putting it under his pillow and went out to do more scaring.

**Sorry this is so short! HAHA! Don't worry this is not the end of it, this is just the beginning! *chuckles evilly* Pitch and Loki are go at it again and this time it will be more arguing! Lol I Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Review and tell me what you think, okay ? :) Hopefully I'll update on Thursday or Friday! See you in chapter 2 Wonderful readers! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: HAHA! Oh man I love writing this about my two favorite villains XD**

**Pitch: Just like you like writing stories about something extremely weird happening to me but writing nice things about Loki -_-**

**Me: Oh lighten Up and Stop being jealous! You know I Don't mean it! X3**

**Pitch: Oh really ? What about that story about Frost catching me playing with My little Pony dolls- OOPS! *flies hand over mouth* *looks over at Loki*'**

**Loki: HAHAHAHAHA! You ? Play with Pony dolls! THAT'S THE MOST HILARIOUS THING I'VE EVER SEEN!**

**Pitch: Oh shut up! It was a long time ago so DROP IT! *blushes hard* And ME ? JEALOUS OF HIM! HAHA! YEAH RIGHT!**

**Loki: So, Who's your favorite pony ? Pinkie Pie ?**

**Pitch: I Said Shut up!**

**Me: HOW ABOUT BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!**

**Both: *silence***

**Me: Thank you ^_^ Sorry for that little interruption, Enjoy Lovely Readers!**

A few days after the little argument on the book, Loki sat on his throne, leaning on the arm of it. He just sat there and thought, "So hard being ruler of Asgard, and I'm so bored" Since no people came upon him today, He decided he was going to go on his Facebook. So he told the guards to close the gate and they did. He ran into his room and slammed the door shut. He sat on his computer and sign in.

"Hmmm Seems like everyone is doing good today" he said to himself. He was scrolling through his news feed, people posting whatever they want until he saw an argument on Jack Frost's status, he was arguing with Pitch. And Pitch ,hating Jack the way he did, was saying stuff like 'Frost, you are such a conceited little worm you know that ?' and other stuff like 'Frost, if i see you in person i will BEAT YOU UP TO A PULP! DO YOU UNDERSTAAAND ? And that's a threat AND a promise! I Am the nightmare king and i will give you endless nightmares!'

It was pissing Loki off that Pitch was behaving all macho and all that crap and for some reason, He thought that Pitch was just a wannabe Him, The god of mischief himself. Maybe it was because how much they were similar, how much people compared them sometimes.

"Who does that macho wannabe think he is ? I'll teach THAT BOOGERman some manners!" he aggressively spoke to himself.

Whatever, he didn't care, he was just tired of Pitch acting like everyone was afriad of him and he wanted to say something about it, so he wrote this as his status,

_"Some people just LOVE to act tough but in reality they are just a coward and a wannabe LMFAO!" _

After that, He added a winky face at the end of the sentence and He pushed the post button and it was sent out to the world to see.

Back at the lair, in Pitch's room, He just got finished arguing with Frost about God knows what. "HAHA! I Finally won that argument with Frost! What a thick headed, delusional, arrogant little runt!" Then he noticed the status that Loki posted. "Oh what is that Imbecile whining about now ?" He looked closer and read what it said and Boy! Did it piss him off! He gritted his teeth in anger, he couldn't believe what he just wrote about him!

"ME ? COWARD? AND WANNABE?! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT ?! I Don't want to be like him! What a conceited vain little- I'LL TEACH HIM TO ACT LIKE SUPERIOR OVERWHEEMING CHILD!" He yelled. He heatedly type down on the keys of his laptop and commented,

_"I Rather be like Frost than a Imbescile like you!" _

Yes! He just typed that in! Yes Frost was conceited! Yes! Frost was a trouble maker! But At least Frost didn't act like a grammar Nazi or acted like everyone wanted to be like him like how Loki is accusing Pitch of.

Back in the Norse God's room, He received a notification. He smiled thinking that someone commented on one of his photos. he clicked on the notification and saw that it said '**Pitch Black Commented on your status' **He smirked, thinking of what Pitch has to say on his status**. **Saw the comment and laughed at Pitch's misspellings. (Oh and Plus Loki got eleven likes on his status) "HAHA! This Boogerman's grammar is worse than Tony Starks'!" He cried tear of laughter and banged on the table. He got himself together and replied,

_"And you continue to insult me with your atrocious grammar! LOL" _

He pushed the post button and crossed his arms, smirking at what Pitch is going to say next, probably something stupid that has nothing to do with the status. He chuckled to himself thinking about the next comment will be, "HAHA! He'll probably say something nonsensical!" He threw his head back and laughed loudly.

Pitch saw this reply and smirked. "HAHAHAHA! Continuing to be a grammar Nazi I See" He said, chuckling. He looked in the mirror and stroked back his hair, Doing the same Pose that The Fonz (that guy from that old show, Happy Days) makes. He turned back to the computer and typed in,

_"At least I'm not atrocious looking like you!"_

Loki looked at the replied and you know what ? instead of getting mad, He laughed harder than he did before! he rolled on the floor laughing his butt off and puddles of tears were flooding around him, Yes! It was THAT ridiculous yet hysterically ludicrous! "Is he serious ?" He said, still chuckling. "Does he know how many girls out there who are willing to worship the ground I Walk on ? How many of them would DIE to be my queen ? HAHA! Foolish Boogerman!" He stopped ranting and typed in,

_"Me ? Atrocious looking ? LMFAOOO! X'D That's the most Untrue and most Hilarious thing about heard in my life! LOL! BITCH PLEASE! If that were true, how is it that I Have a large amount of girls drooling over me than they drool over you ?! SO HA!" _He proudly replied.

"OH HELL NO THAT BASTARD OF AN ATTENTION WHORE DIDN'T JUST CALL ME... A BITCH!" He yelled out loudly, He Infuriatedly walked out of the room, to the lair and to outside in the forest and Screamed so loud that he scared the birds in the trees. He quickly ran back inside and aggressively replied,

_"WHAT THE FLYING HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"_

Loki Laughed his freaking butt off that the people of Asgard could hear him burst of laughing. He wiped the tears from his eyes and Then he replied to him,

_"Are you really that Dance ? LMAOOOO X'DDDD" _Little did he know that he left an error in his comment, It was supposed to be Dense but he accidentally typed in Dance instead. Pitch noticed this "Wait! Did he just... MISSPELLED A WORD ?!" and laughed his butt off. "Oh What an idiot! I Love how he corrects someone's misspellings when he just misspelled a word himself! I Wonder how he must be feeling"

_"LOL! You DO know you misspelled Dense, right ? HAHA! Looks Mr. Harvard professor made a little error! LMFAO XD" _

Loki narrowed his ocean blue eyes and looked at his comment again and flew his hand over his mouth, blushing. He realized it was too late to change it now because everyone who was reading this status and reading the comments are seeing this and are probably making fun of him right now because he would always go around and act like everything he wrote in status's and comments were perfect with no misspellings, now all that changed!

Loki sighed and typed in irritably, _"Oh shut up!" _

Pitch laughed victoriously and replied, _"You know I'm right and YOU'RE WRONG! SO HA!"_

After that, Loki Decided to give up on this fight and made his final comment, _"HMPH!" _

Then Pitch lastly commented, "HAHA!" And added a winky face to it. Loki signed out and furiously walked back outside to his throne. "Stupid Boogerman!" He pouted.

Pitch closed the laptop and Laughed in victory of the argument and proudly said, YES! FINALLY I MADE THAT SIMPLE-MINDED IMBECILE LITERALLY LOOK LIKE AN IMBECILE! HAHA! Poor Loki... NOT!" He laughed out loudly as he was proud of his victory... for now.

**Me: HAHA! Poor Loki! XD I'm sure you'll win in the next chapter**

**Loki: Of course I Will! You'll make sure cuz you love me ;)**

**Me: *blushes* I know**

**Pitch: *growls in jealously* Ok enough with the mushy crap! So I Won but that still doesn't make up for that pony fanfic you wrote about me!**

**Me: Oh get over it Pitch! :3 Admit it! You love ponies! now repeat after me-**

**Pitch: How about no! :D**

**Me: *rolls eyes* ah screw it! Anyways, I Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Hopefully next weekend I will update when I get the chance. See ya lovely readers and *whispers* P.S. That Fanfic about Pitch playing with ponies is Real! It's called, Pitch's dark secret and there's a sequel called Pony lover and the final sequel is called The winter spirit who loves to dash! Go check em out now and-**

**Jack and Pitch: HEY! WE HEARD THAT!**

**Me: OOPS! Gotta go before they get me lol See you all later! **


End file.
